


Battle Scars

by the4thvvall



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Coven, American Horror Story: Roanoke
Genre: AHS, Angst, Angst to Fluff, Anxiety Attacks, Body Worship, Crying, Evan Peters - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, dont quote me on that, kyle cry :(, nonsexual body worship its cute, roro is a good ass boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 06:52:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the4thvvall/pseuds/the4thvvall
Summary: The bus crash left Kyle with his own physical reminders, and he hates them to the bottom of his soul.





	Battle Scars

**Author's Note:**

> thought id write one of these since theres none. follow my tumblr where i post about them all the time @/americanhorrorhcs

Before the fatal bus crash death, Kyle Spencer would never consider himself ugly. In fact, he would consider himself quite the opposite. He had a nice face, girls liked him, girls parents liked him, and even he’d get compliments from dudes time to time. There had never been any issue with self confidence with him, and rarely did he ever have to check how he looked before leaving the house, he just left looking as he did and still could somehow manage to appear decent. Along with his outer persona, Kyle was a good person. He would tutor after classes and help with community service on days when he had more time than he could spend. He was charming, kind. Everything about him was a win-win situation, and there were many redeeming qualities he possessed that got him out of trouble easily. A smooth talker, is what most people used to describe him. On more than one occasion did he find himself in the “you’re lucky you’re pretty” mumbo-jumbo, after performing a prank or something stupid like cheating on a Chemistry test. The percentage of Kyle actually cheating was rare, but it was enjoyable to see how different teachers reacted to it, all but a few using the same exact excuse. “You’re lucky you’re pretty.

After the bus crash, the one that killed him and ruined his life forever, is when all of that changed. Sure, Kyle was still attractive, but it’s not that that changed, it was his outlook on himself. Maybe Zoe had fought over him, sure, but the way he was spoken to by other witches made him feel terrible. He could understand everything, but he couldn’t communicate it back. It was bothersome, annoying, and Madison loved to use it to her advantage. Never again was he the hot popular guy, but the zombie. The broken toy put back together with tape and glue, the kind where you could visibly see every flaw it obtained, from the shitty glue work to the wind up not working. There was nothing left for him to love. 

It’s what he thought now always, and it was what he was thinking now as he stared at himself in the mirror, unmoving. Kyle wasn’t sure how long he had been looking at his body, wearing nothing but pajama pants. This was a nightly thing now, ever since he died and was fortunately revived. Standing in front of his reflection, picking out his flaws for minutes at a time before climbing back into bed, hoping that the redhead next to him would be asleep by that time. Even if he wasn’t asleep, Kyle was determined to make sure he was quiet in his critiquing. It wasn’t that he spoke, he didn’t make any noise at all, but he was accident prone and managed to knock things over a lot, usually it being the soap bottle or a toothbrush, and every time that happened, Kyle would freak out and try getting it back in order before Rory could wake up, and hurriedly climbing back into bed. 

This time, it was different. Kyle had backed out on sex _again _for the third time this week, and he was sure that it had to be on his boyfriend’s last nerve, no matter how sweet he seemed. He was a good actor, after all. Instead of cuddling afterwards like they usually did, he just headed straight for the bathroom, telling the other man he was going to go take a shower, but immediately as he made it there, the door closed slowly behind him, and his gaze landed straight on the bathroom mirror. It was weird this time; usually Kyle backed out because he wasn’t in his right state of mind for it, other times just because he was tired (he was more of a morning sex kinda person anyway), but this time it was because he felt gross. Not because of any of his past experiences, not because of Rory, but himself. It was as if he suddenly became shyer, less confident in the time span of a minute; all because he caught a glimpse of his fading scars.__

____

Kyle’s always hated how they looked. The patchy stitch job, the redness that surrounded them when irritated, even just the feeling that they were there made him feel sick to his stomach. Often times, they were easy to ignore, and Rory could usually take his mind off of them, but they seemed to practically glow when he looked at them late that night. His eyes traveled up and down his chest, pointing out in his head where the stitching began and ended. There was one on either of his shoulders connecting arms that weren’t his, one of his hands wasn’t his, there was a smaller one on his hip (which he really had no idea where it came from, but he could still see the scar. He assumed that Madison and Zoe had something to do with it), and a bigger one connecting his neck to his torso, and they were ugly. Not only were these body parts not his, but everything about it made him nauseous. The reason why he died in the first place, the knowledge that his friend’s tattoos were scattered around, knowing that Zoe and Madison didn’t like his regular body enough to use that one. It hurt more than it should’ve, especially now. 

____

Hesitantly, Kyle brought a hand up to touch the silhouette of the mark, and almost as if it were like he touched a flame, his hand flew off right after. The blond let out a shaky breath, placing his fingertips back on the line and tracing it with trembling hands up to the top of his collarbone. Then, he stopped as he heard a knock on the door. 

____

“Kyle?” He heard Rory call out from the other side, “I don’t hear the water running, you alright?”

____

Perhaps the whole scheme would’ve been more believable if Kyle had actually told the truth and jumped in for a quick shower, but if he couldn’t look at himself shirtless without almost having an anxiety attack, he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to look at himself naked. The hand that had been previously on his skin fell downward to grip the edge of the countertop. “I’m… I’m okay,” Kyle managed to force out, his knees wobbling. Rory could do so much better than someone like Kyle. Rory was hot, he was famous, girls practically fainted over him, and yet he still chose the zombie. There was so much more than Rory could go for, and Kyle was sure that they were only together out of pity. The more he thought, the more anxious he felt.

____

Nothing could have made him more panicked than when Rory twisted the doorknob and slowly opened the door, peeking around the edge. He frowned when he saw Kyle look his way with tears brimming in his big, umber eyes. Concerned, he stepped in, keeping the door open behind him. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he asked, walking closer to his boyfriend and placing his hand on Kyle’s back, rubbing it to calm him down. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, and many times did he find Kyle slipping into a panic attack over anything. Instead of prompting him to speak, the actor made his way behind the blond, wrapping his arms around his waist. When he did that, Kyle stood up a little taller, blinking back the familiar wetness in his eyes. Still not talking, Rory rested his chin on the smaller boy’s shoulder, waiting for something to be said.

____

“Do you think I’m ugly?” Kyle asked, his voice barely above a whisper. A question like this astounded Rory, this was new. Usually, it was the same old ones, but never had self confidence been an issue, and even more so is that Kyle was the prettiest person he’s ever seen. 

____

“Wha- Ugly? You? You’re gorgeous! What makes you think I’d ever think that?” Rory asked, genuinely confused. A few light kisses were pressed against Kyle’s shoulder and lower neck, but he stopped when he heard sniffling. 

____

“Kyle,” he started, pulling his head back and laying more kisses on top of his head, “talk to me, princess.”

____

At those words, Kyle’s head dropped, and his hands made their way to his face, trying to hide himself and mute his sobs. Did he feel bad about backing out again? Rory hoped that wasn’t the case, because he’s assured Kyle over a million times that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to do anything. 

____

“I’m-I’m ugly!” The college boy sobbed, “The-I-All my… my scars!” That’s all he really had to say before Rory tightened the grip on his waist, burying his nose back into the crook of his neck. 

____

“Oh, baby…”

____

The problem was obvious, and the redhead felt stupid for not realizing it right off the bat. Kyle complained about his… damages… quite often, and it should’ve been anticipated he would have a breakdown about it sooner or later. Mainly he complained about how they were itchy or bleeding, but he’s never flat out doubted his looks because of them. Honestly, up until this moment, Rory had completely forgotten that Kyle even had them, but now as he observed, they didn’t look all as bad as Kyle probably thought.

____

Placing each one of his hands on either one of Kyle’s wrists, Rory pulled the younger boy’s hands away from his face, revealing his red, tear stained cheeks. His grip stayed firm as Kyle tried to pry his arm away.

____

“No, Kyle- Kyle, look in the mirror,” Rory told him softly, bringing down Kyle’s wrists as he looked up at his reflection, his eyes welling up again. The redhead shushed him and rubbed circles on the outskirts of his hips, right above the hem of his pajamas. “Tell me what you see.”

____

All the sounds that came out of Kyle’s mouth were just hopeless sobs and stutters, desperately wanting to look away and go back to bed. “I-I see a… a failure.. I-A-And-a bad ha-hack job,” was all he could say before his throat got tight again from holding back his emotion, and it broke Rory’s heart more than anything. 

____

“You sure?” Rory questioned, tilting his head a bit, “because I see the strongest, most beautiful boy I’ve ever met,” he whispered, lifting up his head and leaning it against his boyfriend’s, a pink tint on the blond’s cheek. “You don’t need to feel embarrassed about what you look like. You know what I think?” the taller man asked, pausing for a second, he continued when Kyle shook his head no. “I think you look super badass.”

____

The answer obviously came as a shock to Kyle, who stuttered on his own breath, trying to comprehend where this was going, and so Rory just carried on. One of his fingers slid up to meet the scar across Kyle’s belly, who tried to step away from the touch, and squeezing his eyes shut when he realized he couldn’t. “This one,” Rory started, tracing along the faint line with his fingertip, “you got this one from when a megalodon's tooth just barely missed you while you were on the quest to discover Atlantis,” the actor stated, a grin showing when he saw Kyle’s face flush, opening his eyes again. Rory continued around his body, taking Kyle’s hand and feeling the one on his wrist.

____

“You got this one from when you were exploring the jungle, and a tiger leapt out from nowhere and bit off your hand, but thanks to your quick thinking, you were able to fix it right up and continue your search for a lost diamond necklace.”

____

Obviously, the claims were make believe, but it seemed to be counting as effective. The more that Rory made up the stories, the more Kyle seemed to relax, and even making the corners of his lips dance slightly upwards whenever he said something that peaked his interest. 

____

Rory’s hands travelled up to the marks on both of his shoulders, giving each a light squeeze. “Oh, these ones are my favorite. These are the ones from when you were locked up in that tower like a princess, and there was a big dragon guarding outside, but you managed to escape thanks to your clever ideas, but then the dragon saw you and spit fireballs, and the flames only gotcha’ just a bit, right here,” Rory joked, smiling when Kyle giggled as he tickled the spot near his neck. His palms were guided over to the much bigger, much more noticeable scar on Kyle’s upper chest. It was Kyle’s least favorite, because he knew that it was attaching the only true part of himself to other parts that were not. 

____

“I like this one a lot too, because it’s when you got into a sword fight with a pirate, and he scratched you up with his blade, but then you too hit him right back and into the ocean.” Kyle seemed content now, sighing and leaning back against Rory’s chest, who’s arms made their way back down to wrap around the waist of the man in front of him. The room was silent for a moment, a comfortable silence, the only sounds being the heavy, sleepy breathing coming from the smaller man. 

____

“Roro?” he whispered, eyelids trying hard not to flutter closed and pass out right there. “Can we-we go to bed, please?”

____

For once, both of them were glad to actually go to sleep; tucked under multiple blankets, legs tangled together and breathing softly, and only when he was sure that Kyle was sleeping, Rory peppered light kisses along the scars, making a vow to never let anything bad happen to him ever again, before slowly drifting off to sleep as well.

____


End file.
